


You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness

by cutebutpsyco



Series: Ironstrange Week [1]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), sort of predictions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-06 22:53:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14657907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutebutpsyco/pseuds/cutebutpsyco
Summary: IRONSTRANGE WEEK | DAY 1Chapter 1: Last Touch (Stephen knew what would happen later. He saw it, he could feel it. It wasn’t painful as he suspected but it was a different kind of pain, of sufferance. It was like everything was crumbling on him and he was in a glass dome, he knew it would eventually break and crushing on him but the waiting made his breath short in anticipation. He knew what was coming and he had to say something to Tony, he had to…)Chapter 2: First Contact (Steel blue eyes shining in the morning light of New York. His hand was big and steady on his shoulder and that look… He wanted to wake up every morning with that sight in his eyes.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Ironstrange Week on Tumblr. This was supposed to be a one shoot then I found myself writing also chapter II.  
> First chapter set in Titan, the second one is in New York  
> Title from "Somebody I used to know" and nothing belongs to me if not some predictions on how IW: Part II will end.

It was the right thing to do, it was the only thing to do, the only way by which there still was hope for the universe. So why did it look like a doom itself? Because it was, probably, because he broke the oath he did as he had in the past, in that life he was sure he would have missed so long ago. Though, he didn’t. 

And he didn’t regret either trading the Stone for Tony’s life. Because it was the only way. Because Tony was the only hope to defeat Thanos. Even if he couldn’t understand it, right now. Stephen could have explained but he didn’t want to. He knew little of the man but still enough to understand that he would never let anybody took his place. He was frightened to lose who he loved because of his selfishness and that was the most selfless thought ever and Strange wanted to be able to tell him but they had no time to. 

Everything was in the hands of the Avengers on the Earth and Stephen already knew what would have happened. It was his curse. See everything, knowing all the possibilities and knowing that they had just one. He saw futures he wished to live, he saw others in which his hands were stained in Tony and Peter’s blood but Thanos was always there, a shadow looming behind every corner. But in the possibility in which Stephen gave the Stone to him. To save Tony. Tony was the point.  
Tony and his blessed soul which understood everything years before. Even before he became the Supreme Sorcerer. And nobody believed him. It was beyond sad, in Stephen’s eyes. Tony could be a pain in the ass but… Stephen grew fond of him, maybe even more than simply fond, truth to be told. He was the only one who would have followed him in the space without second thoughts. Even Wong stayed back and Stephen wasn’t angry with his friend: he was just stunned how a man was ready to follow someone he barely knew in the outer space, to save him and his life. 

He wasn’t sure he would have done the same, he wasn’t sure he would have chosen another one’s life over the stone… But Tony… He couldn’t let Tony die because if he died it was because of him and maybe it was a selfish thought but the real reason was that the man was someone who could understand him and… He loved whatever relationship they established on that spaceship. He loved their rivalry and the way Tony’s dark eyes shone the moment Stephen leaned close to kiss him while they were arguing about the next move. As if he wasn’t waiting for anything different. 

He knew they didn’t have a lot of time, he knew but he also knew that was his secret. He couldn’t and wouldn’t tell the others what was going to happen. It was pointless. He would have left them time to hate him for giving up the Stone, he would have left time for them to stay together before everything happened. Time… That was everything they had and everything they lost. Because of him. 

“I had to.” He repeated; a whisper that nobody but him could hear. He felt exhausted, he could taste the bitter taste of failure on the back of his throat and everything he could think about what that he failed everyone. He was supposed to be the protector of the Infinity Stone and he gave it. The fact that it was the only way to win on the long terms was meaningless. He failed. And something would have started soon. 

He watched Tony, Stephen’s back pushed against the cruel steel of Titan collapsed flying structures, and shook his head. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. 

Tony looked at him. Dark eyes in steel blue ones, unsaid words in that glance. Two broken men devoured by their own guilt and still searching for each other. 

“Something’s happening…” Stephen knew it, knew it would but hearing Mantis said that was final, fatal. He couldn’t take his eyes away from Tony’s, though he saw the other man turn a moment later in the direction of the alien girl. 

“Quill…?” That was Drax and, a moment later Star-Lord himself turned toward Tony and Stephen, close, too close to each other on Titan dust. 

“Oh, man!” 

Stephen knew what would happen later. He saw it, he could feel it. It wasn’t painful as he suspected but it was a different kind of pain, of sufferance. It was like everything was crumbling on him and he was in a glass dome, he knew it would eventually break and crushing on him but the waiting made his breath short in anticipation. He knew what was coming and he had to say something to Tony, he had to… 

“Tony…” He whispered softly and still trying to make him understand the urgency in his voice. He had too many things to say to him and so little time to. He could feel his body was falling apart while he could still feel his legs and arms and feet and hands. He had to say it now. Tony turned to him.

“No…” He said, understanding, probably. And then he moved a hand, closing the distance between them. Stephen felt his scarred and sore hand being covered by a callous one and grasped at Tony’s, tangling their fingers together. The sensation of the crystal dome trembling over his head was replaced for an instant with the warm one of someone caring for him. It wasn’t enough to save him but for Stephen was everything that mattered. 

“There was no other way.” That what was important, that what really mattered. That was Tony had to know. He wanted to say other things, Stephen wanted to explain him he couldn’t see futures in which he died and so that just meant there was a way to bring everyone back, he wanted to say that he would never let his hand go but there wasn’t time. He could feel his body fell apart limb by limb and now the dome had crumbled it was painful and burning and too hot and he could remember all the useless surgery he had at his hands but Tony was still holding him and that was enough. 

Stephen tried hard not to blink, while the sensation of all his body turning in ashes reached his face, he wanted Tony’s face to be the last memory of his life. And when Titan disappeared from his eyes when he felt that everything else was gone, his right hand was grasping the void but he could still feel Tony’s warmth against it and that was enough, for now.


	2. Chapter II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _First contact._ This chapter contains a prediction of how Infinity War Part II will end but it's just a thought of mine so spoiler free. I considered it as a first contact because of the end of this chapter but I don't even know, I just hope you'll enjoy this fic.

Tony could feel the blood loss was going to make him faint. He saw Steve dying, he was at his side and he could do nothing. And everything was blurry in front of him, again. He was powerless. There wasn’t anything all his genius, all his technology could do. It wasn’t like on Titan, a place where he tried to not bring his mind because it was too painful and was the reason why he broke up with Pepper, it was worse because he couldn’t do anything to prevent Stephen to give Thanos the Stone, not really, but he could have… Do something different and save Steve. He could have found a way to kill Thanos without someone had to die, or he could have been that person. 

Natasha fell on her knees at Tony’s side a moment later. She was badly injured too, holding her side, her face transmuting into a pained expression the moment her left foot touched the ground. She looked at Tony and then at Steve’s body. He looked peaceful as if he was sleeping which… Tony tried not to think about it. 

“Tony,” Nat’s voice was weak, not just exhausted but broken, shaking. He didn’t dare to speak, he didn’t want his to sound the same as hers. “The gauntlet. We need it…” 

He nodded, he was the closest to it and if someone would take it… They could let nobody get close to it. He still had no idea how they defeated Thanos but another one like him was the last thing they needed, not after that Steve died and them had lost the best between them. He rose from the asphalt, the world spun around him for a moment and every step took to reach the Infinity Stones was a struggle to keep his eyes open. He couldn’t feel any longer his right arm, all he felt was pain and fire coming from it so, he guessed, he broke it. It didn’t matter, not at the moment. The gauntlet was there, destroyed by the power of the Stones themselves and his left hand trembled when he took it. 

He could feel the power of the Stones like a beating heart. 

“Destroy it, Tony.” Thor said, appearing from somewhere behind him. 

“Wait…” He knew they were afraid he could keep it for studying the Stones but, after what happened when he tried, it wasn’t any longer in his plans. That was the price of the knowledge at every cost: turning into Thanos, being the kind of person who destroyed others’ lives and he already was that person. “I… I studied… I studied with Wong… There’s a way to bring them back… The ones who disappeared… The kid, Stephen, Barnes, Sam…” 

He tried to explain. A moment later, he saw realisation hit Thor’s face.  
“We have to bring it back to the Avengers Tower.” He said. His legs were trembling and he wasn’t sure he could move but they had to do it now. 

Rhodes and Bruce arrived there too, as well as Okoye and Shuri. Only Clint, Ant-Man and his hot friend and Captain Marvel were still fighting but with Thanos's death, everyone else wasn't a threat. Bruce lowered himself on his knees to help Tony, his hands on Thanos’s gauntlet too. “Tony, you are too weak, we can’t do it now…”

“We… Bruce we have to…” He almost fell on Bruce’s shoulder, grasping at him and being grateful to his friend to holding him enough for him not to crash on the asphalt. By now, everyone was around them, most of them focused on the Infinity Stones Tony was still holding. He wasn’t going to wait, despite his head was a mess at that moment and his legs didn’t help in standing. 

“Not now… You are this close to faint, Nat can’t stand and the only one who isn’t injured is Thor because he’s a fucking god!” The stare he threw to Banner was enough to make him shut up. It wasn’t a lie, everyone there was bleeding and Tony’s legs were too weak to make him stand without Bruce helping him.  
But he knew that whoever had been killed with the Soul Stone wasn’t really dead but forced into another dimension and he couldn't wait any longer: the books said nothing about how life in that other dimension was. He needed to know they were safe, he needed to free them as soon as he could. And stay conscious was becoming harder and harder. Tony was half sure to have a concussion but he couldn’t think about himself, right now. 

“We need to bring the Soul Stone to the Sanctum,” Wong said causing everyone else to turn at him; somehow, the man managed to get through the fight with just some scratches. “I can’t do it there.”

He opened a portal and waited for everyone to cross it, Thor holding Steve’s body in his arms. They passed the golden circle the man opened and a moment later Tony’s head went blank. 

\---

He woke up moments later, he couldn’t say how long he was passed out but when he woke up he could hear some voices around him. He recognized Nat’s one, softer and sweeter than usual but he wasn’t able to understand her words. Someone made him lie on the couch and when he tried to seat all the room turned around him. A moment later, he felt a hand on his shoulder, keeping him up. 

He turned to look at who was helping him and… He froze. He knew that face, he waited to see that same face since he read that he was still alive, somewhere. Stephen Strange smirked at him. Steel blue eyes shining in the morning light of New York. His hand was big and steady on his shoulder and that look… He wanted to wake up every morning with that sight in his eyes. 

“Stephen…” He whispered, trying to find something to say. 

“Missed me?” He asked but he was still holding Tony’s shoulder. His hand ran on the other man’s neck. 

“How…? What…?” His head was still throbbing and the only thing he could see clearly was Stephen’s face. “Are you really here? The kid…?”

“I’m here, Peter’s here, everyone is here again,” Stephen answered and a moment later Tony was holding tight Stephen’s arms, looking at him. He was there, he really was there and whatever would have happened later, he was sure Stephen would have been by his side. 

It was a warming sensation, a one he thought he would have forget, one he was sure he would never feel again. He didn’t let Stephen’s go until he heard a voice he was used to. 

“Mr Stark!” Peter almost yelled when he saw him. Stephen smiled, pushing himself back from the couch and letting the two of them being alone for a while.  
Thought, the warmth of his hand was still on Tony’s body. 

And he wasn't going to let it fade anytime soon, he promised himself.

**Author's Note:**

> I suppose it's clear but English isn't my mother tongue so, if there's some typos or something, let me know.  
> Say hi on [Tumblr](http://staryjoy.tumblr.com/)


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